Thursday, March 23, 2006

Memories of Spokane- Funny Story # 1

"It is so dark in here. Where is the switch?" I felt along the wall and finally found a switch, but since I just moved in nothing was plugged in yet. I found my way to the kitchen, opened the fridge and used that light as a way to find my way to where I had put the lamps. I realized the blinds were closed once the fridge illuminated my path so I opened them for some light- but the sun was getting ready to set already.

I plugged a lamp in but I was so tired I just wanted to go to bed...I thought I HAD to get it done- I had to be ready and have my home ready. Tara, my roommate to be was coming in 2 days and I wanted as much as possible set up...

I had just gotten back from dropping my brother off in Seattle to catch a flight because he helped drive me out to this crazy place where all the roads were strange. After driving all the way cross -country, dropping all of my earthly possessions off at my new place we slept on the floor and rose early to get him to the airport. I dropped him off at SEATAC, had lunch with some cousins I hadn't seen in years and then headed right back for Spokane- another 6 hours! I managed to get my way back to my apartment somehow- I must have messed up a couple times- 7 years later I can't remember but I do remember the fresh smell of paint in the hall as I opened up the apartment.

Where to begin? I had so much to do. It was 6:3o pm and I wanted to get some groceries before it was completely dark. I grabbed my keys and my purse got in my car ready to go and I started driving.

"So...Where is a grocery store? Hmmm."

I stopped the car to think before I got too far down Shannon Rd- my street. I figured- a pretty big city- there has to be one somewhere...I'll just drive down the main drag and go a couple miles- surely I will find something! Boy was I wrong!

I drove for 20 minutes down the street and thought I saw something that resembled a grocery store so I tried to turn around but all of a sudden I was on a one way street that was separating from the street I was just on. I started heading in another direction. I looked at street signs and I was on Division, but now I was on Ruby- "How did this happen?" I turned around and tried to find my way back. Well I'll drive the other way down Indiana....I turned right and went west for a good 20 minutes. It started to get dark and all of a sudden I was driving on the edge of a road overlooking some huge river and the other side was houses. I turned around again and thought sure If I had just gone a little farther before on the other road- stuck it out a little longer, maybe I would have found something eventually- after all, it wasn't just houses- there were businesses. I turned around and before I passed my apartment again, I stopped at a gas station by my apartment and asked directions. I went in embarrassed so I looked around for something to buy so I didn't look too desperate. I asked the attendant with gum in my hand, but a nosy town's person felt like he had the authority to answer it better. It looked like he had lived in Spokane his whole life so I listened to him.

" Oh Sure sweetie- just go back the way you were headed," (Okay, how does he know where I was coming from- first scary thought. And Why did he call me sweetie? Second scary thought) ," and turn right on Nevada".

Its not too far.

"Okay thanks... " Now should I stop at another gas station where scary man who knew where I came from wasn't there, or should I trust him? So I continued up Division and it turned into a one way named Ruby again....Oh boy. I went as far as I did last time and 10 minutes further. No luck- It's 9pm! Where is the stupid store!?! I stopped again.
" Excuse me. Where is the closest grocery store? Or where is Nevada? I've been driving down this one way for ages and I can't find it. "
The lady smiled and said, " New to town?"
I'm thinking, "No, I'm pulling your leg, I know my way around Spokane I just do this for fun on Friday nights." So I said "yes."
She said, "Dear..." ( Why do people call you pet names- dear and sweetie in Spokane so much? hmmmm.) "Dear, Nevada is parallel to this street. You need to go east on the next road and you will hit Nevada."

Okay....

So I turned my car around (again- pretty soon I'm going to need one of these gas stations)
and drive all the way back to Indiana- another street I lived near where I first asked for directions. I went east on Indiana and looked for "Nevada."

I drove 3 blocks and I didn't find Nevada, but I did find a grocery store. "FINALLY Hallelujah!" So I went in shopped for the essentials- TP- Cat food, ground beef, milk, pasta noodles. I'm in the check out 30 minutes later- almost 10pm.
While in line I ask the lady," Out of curiosity Where is Nevada Rd?"
The lady looked at me and raised an eyebrow.
" Are you new in town?"
" Geesh do I have a sign on me or something? And why does everyone state the obvious around here???" I thought to myself.
She smiled at my look of curiosity at her mind blowing observation.
"Well, Honey ..." ( Here we go again)
" If you continue with this road that you are on and go 20 minutes North- this street will turn into Nevada.

She almost stepped back from the bright light illumination above my head. Ahhhh--- that man who said turn on Nevada actually meant Hamilton because they are the same road! How was I supposed to know that. As she is telling me my total I see a map of Spokane roads for sale in the tabloids! I grabbed it " This too please" She looked at me and said
" awe, Honey..."
AGGGG- what would she say if I called her 'sugar lips?'
" Put that back- I have some complementary ones right here."
" Oh, Okay...Are you sure? Thanks"

I paid my bill and went to the service desk to ask the guy how to get to 509 W. Shannon. He said- oh- its right down the street. " So I jumped into Spokane culture lingo & all..." Honey, I'm new in town...Could you write down all of it for me- even which way to turn out of the parking lot. It took me 3 hours to get here." He laughed. I frowned. He stopped laughing...
" Oh, your serious."
"Yes, I'm serious".
The paper had beautiful directions that I could actually follow! I asked nice man who laughs too much,
" And the streets you wrote down...Is Indian called Indiana all the way? And the other roads?"
" Yes mam" ( Finally no "sweetie")
I said "thank you..." I took my bags to the car and followed his directions. I was home in 7 minutes.

I made dinner at 10:45pm, starving to death, and then got busy unpacking. I didn't label anything- although everything I owned fit into my 1995 Pontiac Grand Am- so there wasn't too much. I promised myself, as soon as I find my sheets and bed spread I'm calling it quits for today. Around 1am after unpacking clothes, posters/decor and newly bought dishes and cleaning supplies, I opened the suitcase with the comforter and sheets. I put them on my bed, got my cat Cricket to snuggle even though he was still drugged from the tranquilizer for the car ride from Chicago to Spokane.

I closed the door to my room, " No place like home!"

2 comments:

DayAtTheBeach said...

Way to capture the idiosyncrasies of Spokane. I liked the detail about pet names. Good description of conversations with the locals and good job with finding cool names for people in the story, i.e. Man Who Laughs Too Much.
I got a little lost with the actual street directions (as I'm sure you did); maybe you don't need all the street names. Just this became some other street that led to a one-way that took to the next town over, or something like that. The specific street names and directions might bog down the reader.
Kudos on the most recent post, as well. Good comparison of city vs. town life.

Good luck with your group this week.

e-jamie said...

Thanks! Good to get the feedback- yes, the street names are confusing- I was wondering if it was hard to follow. I'll have to revise a little.

I really wish blogger had auto spell check like my e-mail at work- I guess I've become codependant on it :)So hopefully, little by little, that and grammar will get cleared up.

See ya Sunday.